Quarantine has a lot of us feeling lost. Do you resist change or easily adapt and go with the flow? How difficult is it for you to let go of something you put time and effort into? Personally, I struggle with the concept of letting go. As someone with OCD who suffers from depression, it’s mentally exhausting to train myself to cope with certain situations.
Closing a chapter
I’ve lived in my apartment for over 8 years now with my partner. My family owns property and for years I would manage the multi family building, paying rent to my family as well as dealing with any property issues and maintenance. My apartment was mainly in the basement, with a detached loft on the other side of the house that I used as an art studio. Since I had planned to be there for a long time, my partner and I put a lot of work into our apartment over the years. He redid the bedroom floor by hand when we moved in, we had work done on the bathroom including a new bath, and recently we both redesigned our living room to be our new bedroom for more space. Our floors were best described as “90’s school cafeteria tile”, they were yellowed from age long before we moved in and awful to look at.
The mister taught me how to lay and cut tiles, which is a lengthy process and took us a couple of days to finish. I was so proud of the hard work we did, and all the work we put into it.
( In the process of becoming an ocean themed bedroom)
Unfortunately we would soon get the news that we had to move. We were already dealing with an unruly tenant upstairs who would make life difficult for us constantly despite her basically squatting in the building for months without paying rent. She ended up reporting the new work done to the basement out of spite, causing my family to have to pay fines and deal with the town court. While they were proud of our work, we ultimately decided to move as this is not the first issue we have had with the building. Over the years it has been a challenge, floods and various disasters would occasionally plague the building due to negligence on our upstairs neighbors. Despite this, I was always determined to make the place beautiful and something we could be proud of. At first the news was hard for me to deal with. I was angry and depressed for months…especially after only weeks before hearing the news I poured so much effort into laying the new tiles, even driving 8 hours to pick them up from a store that had them available. My body still ached from the hard labor.
As the months passed and I fell deeper and deeper into depression, I tried my best to pull myself out of my negative thought cycle and adapt. This was before the virus hit, and the isolation became mandatory. As someone who chooses not to take medication for my condition, I began re-exploring natural and holistic ways of coping with change and methods of rewriting my brain. I wanted to share my experience in hope that it might help someone. I know reading something like this would have helped me months ago, when I was struggling the most.
Breathe in, Breathe out.
Remember, you are not alone and your feelings are valid. It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling, and it’s okay to express it. It becomes toxic only after we dwell on the situation, or let the repetitive thoughts cycle without controlling them. In the Buddhist practices, the “monkey mind” is a term that refers to being unsettled, restless, or unfocused. It refers tothe part of your brain that becomes easily distracted, if you want to be successful in life, your challenge will be to shut down the monkey mind.
The cause is our natural ability to think about many things at once…which only becomes dangerous when it will not quiet down. When the mind is constantly assaulted by negative thoughts, fears, and doubts, it results in mental fatigue and illness due to over-stimulation. Try to practice clearing your mind completely, or meditation. If we are focused on the past, or too anxious for the future we can’t experience the now.
Do what calms you
Self care can heal most wounds, albeit even tedious tasks. Focusing on your needs might be a challenge when you’re feeling anxious, but you will feel much better, I promise!
Set small goals and accomplish them
Depression can make even getting out if bed an ordeal, when it progresses enough. Try to avoid getting to this point by setting small goals for yourself. Do your makeup and shoot a look one day (or night), take a walk to the park, cook yourself a simple meal or work on that thing that you keep putting off.
It’s okay to start your day late
Quarantine has your sleep schedule off? Feeling out of the loop with all the morning people? You can still accomplish small tasks and fight the blues away. You can still shoot some content at night with the right ring light, or go to the supermarket and stock up on your favorite snacks. Low energy? Take a bath. Throw in some vibe lifting essential oil drops or some orange peels to improve your mood. (The vitamin C helps)
Remember, this too shall pass.
In certain beliefs, when you experience bad karma or occurrences, eventually it will be evened out with the good. Stay strong, embrace the storms in your life.