If you are familiar with the bdsm community you may have heard of collaring ceremonies, but what are they? A collaring ceremony is much like a wedding. It binds a submissive and their dominant together in a more formal way. Collaring ceremonies are not to be taken lightly; they are huge deal and to some are even more important than marriage. Collaring ceremonies can be done in many ways; here we will discuss the planning process for mine. Feel free to follow these steps and ideas for your own ceremony!
A really important part of my collaring ceremony is the contract. This contract puts forth our rules, hard and soft limits, along with stating anything else that is vital information for the other party to know. My dominant and I have spent our entire relationship working on building our contract and adjusting as needed. We have it set to be redrawn every three months so that everything stays current.
Next we shopped for my collaring collar. Mine is a lovely thin silver band with my birthstone, opal, in the center. I featured a picture of it below, it is from Daoire on etsy. My collaring collar has an Allen key lock on it that my dominant will have the primary key for and I will have an extra for emergencies. With his key it will remain on a necklace that he wears at all times this is the other half of our uniting symbol and to us is just as important as my collar. Picking a collar is a very personal experience and can be very emotional. I can’t even begin to describe how many times I cried while we were picking the perfect one.
After we chose the collar we began to plan the ceremony itself. For us we are choosing to do a formal service set up much like a wedding would be. We are still waiting to pick a date since Covid has made us have to reschedule. Our friends and family will be invited as they are all very supportive of our bdsm lifestyle so it’s important that it is safe for everyone. I have my dress chosen and am extremely excited to wear it! We are choosing to do it outside and do a set of vows. After the vows are said the collar will be placed around my neck and the contract signed. After that we party! For our party we are choosing to have it set up as a formal attire rave and I am so excited! We are doing this because our bdsm lifestyle is just a important to us as our EDM lifestyle. I can’t wait to share this amazing experience with everyone!
There are so many ways that you can do your own collaring ceremony but remember you want it to be true to you are your partner. If you prefer small intimate affairs with just a few people do that! If you rather it just be you two that is perfectly okay as well. It’s your special union make it perfect for you!
Here is one of my favorite candid photos of me and my dominant.