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For a long time I have felt so guilty for having this strange urge to submit to my lover. You see, if you are a sworn feminist, that should not be right? You should not be feeling all these urges. Especially if you grew up the way I did.

My mother was a victim, not by choice though, but by a series of bad decisions.

My father was a sadist, cruel man, an alcoholic and he bullied her emotionally, physically and mentally for as long as she was alive.


My father never laid a finger on me, although I wished he did, because it appeared so easy to see my mother bursting in tears of pain, which I had to hold in because I did not have had any reason to cry, or so he said.

I had numerous reasons, but none of them appeared valid to anyone in my family.

Not being bullied seemed like a lonely place, because it did not guarantee that you will receive love either.


I had sworn to be a different woman than my mother, and I feel like I have succeeded in that endeavour. I am a feminist. A feminist submissive.


How does that even work, you might wonder?

A feminist is a person that fights for the women rights to choose for themselves and that is a different story for every woman on this planet. However, sometimes it is far from truth. Media is trying to make us think that a feminist is a successful woman wearing a business suit and pretending to be a man rather than a woman, and that is all right if that is your cup of tea, but what if it is not?

I have already spent half of my life trying to be in control of everything and going from one unsatisfying relationship to another, only realizing that all of them did not work out because I’ve never given a chance to any guy to do something for me because I never trusted them. Because I never really allowed myself to open up.

Does being a feminist means never trusting anyone with a penis? I hope not.


Is there a braver thing on this planet than stepping into the shoes of what you fear the most just to find your real self on the other side? Isn’t that what feminism really is about? Fight for your real self, your best self?


Submissive shoes fit me just right. I have never felt so much at peace as to when I give power to another person. It dissolves all the things I have become just because I was traumatized by what my mother was going through.

Being a real submissive means giving power to others, but in order to give power away, you must first own it.


For me being a submissive is really owning that power and then handing it over to the person I love knowing he will take good care of me. It is an act of deep trust.


You can check out my submission story on YouTube:


10 thoughts on “The Feminist Submissive”

  1. lunawhispurr lunawhispurr says:

    I love this. Thank you for sharing parts of your story. People don’t realize how much power a submissive actually has. I too, am a feminist submissive and find true beauty and power in it. <3

  2. DrusilaV DrusilaV says:

    This is very powerful. Thank you.

    1. VioletNeko VioletNeko says:

      Thanks for writing this. I have this conversation over and over with people and it is exhausting. I used to be part of an all female fbook group where anithwr member posted a YouTube video of a lifestyle couple whom lived their dynamic out in the open. She was outraged and of course spewed her misinformed opinion into a rather long post about why she felt it was wrong and that the woman was being abused by the man. I replied and gave her some information and explained as plainly as I could why she was incorrect and should not make such judgements as an outsider to the lifestyle. After that so many other ladies in the group messaged me about how they felt the same… An urge to submit but an inner conflict yelling them that it didn’t align with feminism.

  3. Kyra Kyra says:

    This is very thought provoking!

  4. DeviantMynx DeviantMynx says:

    @Namaria. Thank you for opening up and sharing a part of yourself with us. I love how these articles are able to start so many discussions that we are all probably having within ourselves but don’t ever really have an opening statement for. I will definitely look up your YouTube channel. Lovely article.

  5. DaeniKitten DaeniKitten says:

    This is such a powerful article and I want to thank you for telling your story. Feminism and kink has been something I’ve battled with internally as well and felt shame from. Though feminism is about equality. Period. and I believe that this includes choice as well. The choice to submit or not is the key in this lifestyle and feminism by definition is about supporting that woman’s choice to do so. <3

  6. namaria namaria says:

    Thank you so much for your support! I felt like this needs to be said, as a lot of people don’t get the whole feminist things right at all. It’s about making your own decisions, not doing what everyone else say it’s right 🙂

  7. toxsuki toxsuki says:

    This is an amazing story from beginning to end. Thank you for sharing this story with us <3 kitten sister.

  8. I love how these two aspects of your life don’t need to be mutually exclusive. Good for you for breaking out of the cycle of abuse, as well. It’s not easy, and in proud of you for staying true to yourself! You go girl.

  9. KikiLolita KikiLolita says:

    Oh my goodness, thank you so much for sharing this. I struggled with the same thoughts for the same reasons. Feminism is truly the freedom to choose. I never feel so powerful as when I am on my knees.

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